This is one that will make me feel a bit tired and all that jazz, pals. So please do not feel the need to read unless you want to.

In the depths of time, I was 23 and working in America. With extremely glamorous people who I couldn’t possibly hope to keep up with, even with a company credit card that I would never have abused, regardless. Mr I berates me as I always order the cheapest thing on a restaurant menu. Anyway, a friend (much older than me) was so unspeakably kind and always hilarious and I was the lone female and he was the lone male so we were always sitting next to each other at dinner. I was so befuddled by the prices on the dinner menu in Miami one night I couldn’t order. Like a plain fool. He whispered to me, Let’s go for the sea bass. When in doubt, always say Sea bass! The waiter came and he said, We will take the Sea Bass, thank you. What they thought of us, you cannot imagine. Or, we can.

We went on to be great mates. Always one and one when working in America. We had the most unbelievable outing in a gay club in Dallas. Deep Ellum. That was, quite the night. Until a few years ago I had a pink python Stetson and it was stolen in a move. I hope the person enjoys it as much as I did. I spent the morning watching the sunrise on a rooftop with him. In deckchairs. In Dallas, Deep Ellum. Imagine that. We had some rare times together, always the odd couple.

My friend was, unfortunately, murdered on a Grindr hook up. A part of his life that was nothing to do with me. Do watch yourselves you all. Take care out there. I mean it.

When he was killed, it nearly broke all our hearts. For good. Yet, there’s something that comes out of the ashes. He always wore expensive watches. Probably too expensive in the end, and after his death, I inherited his old Swatch watch. An automatic. I love it. It’s a token of kindness to a stranger, and it’s mine. Today, Mr I had a new strap fitted for it at P’s old friend, all tip top and lovely. A super daily reminder of a truly super friend. As he told me once, if it keeps ticking, it means you are still ticking.

And remember, when in doubt, order the Sea Bass!